We’ve been doing all of this talk about relationships…about how your past impacts your present, about getting to know your partner and a few big no-no’s and how to avoid them. But what if after all this, it just isn’t working? At some point we have to talk break-ups, as unpleasant as they are. I thought I might offer a new and slightly unorthodox perspective…
Several years ago I was taking a jog by the lake on Friday afternoon and a song that I had not heard in years began playing on my Ipod. I smiled as the old memories came back to me about where I was at that time in my life and what that song had meant to me. Here’s the part where you’re going to think I’m weird: the song that was making me happy and nostalgic was a song about breaking up. It’s called “Tonight The Heartache’s on Me” by the Dixie Chicks. It’s about a woman whose heart is broken because she has been betrayed by her partner, but instead of running from her pain, for one night, she’s embracing it. At the time that I first heard this song, I was in a relationship and unable to relate as I had been lucky in love up to that point. But I loved the song anyway. Every time I heard it, I pictured this strong woman with a great sense of humor laughing with her girlfriends at a bar and toasting the fool who clearly didn’t know what he had. It made me smile every time I thought about it and some strange part of me wanted to experience that.
Well, you know life, so you know without me having to tell you that I surely got my turn at heartache. It was very painful, incredibly dramatic (in the way that only a college relationship can be) and, at times…really fun. Seriously? you ask. Yes, seriously. I vividly remember being at a friend’s party one of the first nights after that initial break-up, turning on that Dickie Chicks song and embracing it. Embracing the sadness, the relief, the regret and the hope. And I’m so glad that I did. Why? Because now I’m married to a wonderful, loving man who cherishes me and so, God willing, I will never again experience a break-up. I will never again experience that bitter-sweet kiss when you reunite with someone you lost long ago. I will never again go to a bar with my girlfriends and laugh while toasting the guy who was a jerk to me. I will never again get that heart-wrenching (yet butterfly-inducing) email or phone call from an ex for the first time after the break-up. I’m SO thankful for that and I wouldn’t trade where I am with anyone. But I’m also so thankful that I experienced all of those things at least once. Because that’s life right? And I don’t want to miss any of it! So cheers 🙂
