The Quiet Revolution: Finding Yourself in the Noise of Should

By Austin Newcomb, M.Ed., LPC, NCC

 

Have you ever noticed how your body feels when you’re trying to be who you think you “should” be? Maybe it’s a subtle tension in your shoulders, a tightness in your throat, or an unsettled feeling in your stomach. These quiet signals are your body’s way of whispering a truth we often try to ignore: sometimes who we’re trying to be isn’t who we actually are.

The Weight of Should

We carry our “shoulds” like invisible backpacks:

• I should be more productive
• I should have it all figured out by now
• I should be happier
• I should be different

Each “should” adds another weight, another layer of tension, another reason our nervous system stays on high alert. We’re so busy trying to be who we think we should be that we forget to ask a more fundamental question: Who are we when we’re not trying to be anyone at all?

The Body’s Hidden Wisdom

Here’s something I’ve learned both personally and professionally – your body knows who you are long before your mind catches up. That uncomfortable feeling when you’re pretending to be fine? That’s your body’s way of saying “this isn’t us.” The heaviness that comes with forcing yourself to fit into someone else’s definition of success? That’s your nervous system sending up flares. But what if, instead of seeing these signals as problems to fix, we saw them as invitations to discover?

Finding Your True North

Imagine your authentic self as a compass, always pointing toward truth. The challenge isn’t in finding the direction – it’s in learning to read the signals:

The Language of Authenticity

Your body speaks in sensations:

• The exhale of relief when you’re truly being yourself
• The subtle energy shift when you’re in alignment
• The quiet certainty that lives in your gut
• The ease that comes with genuine expression

These aren’t just random feelings – they’re your internal navigation system.

 

The Revolution of Being

Here’s where it gets interesting: Being yourself isn’t a destination; it’s a practice. It’s a moment-by-moment choice to listen to your body’s wisdom instead of society’s noise. And sometimes, that choice feels like a quiet revolution.

The Practice of Presence

Try this experiment in being:

1. Find a quiet moment
2. Sit or lie somewhere comfortable
3. Place one hand on your heart
4. Let your attention rest on your breath

Ask yourself

1. “Who am I when no one is watching?”
2. “What does my body know that my mind is still learning?”
3. “Where do I feel most like myself?”

Notice without judgment

1. What sensations arise?
2. What emotions surface?
3. What thoughts appear?

This isn’t about finding answers. It’s about creating space for your truth to emerge.

 

The Courage to Be

Being yourself in a world that often wants you to be something else takes courage. It’s okay if this journey feels scary. It’s okay if you’re not sure who you are yet. It’s okay if being authentic sometimes feels like the hardest thing in the world.

Signs You’re on the Right Path

• When saying “no” feels like saying “yes” to yourself
• When your nervous system settles into a decision
• When your body relaxes into a truth you’ve been avoiding
• When being “less” of what others want feels like being more of yourself

 

The Permission Slip You’ve Been Waiting For

Consider this your official permission slip to:

• Question your “shoulds”
• Listen to your body’s wisdom
• Take up space in your own life
• Be a work in progress
• Change your mind
• Start again

 

The Reality Check

Here’s the truth: You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to know exactly who you are. You just have to be willing to listen to the quiet voice inside that already knows.

Sometimes that voice speaks in sensations:

• A flutter in your chest when you’re close to truth
• A heaviness when you’re off course
• A lightness when you’re aligned with your authentic self

Your Invitation to Wonder

This week, I invite you to experiment with being. Not doing, not becoming, just being. Notice:

• What does your body feel like when you’re not trying to be anyone?
• Where do you feel most at home in yourself?
• What truth is your nervous system trying to tell you?

Remember: Your journey to authenticity isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about unbecoming all the things you thought you should be until you find who you’ve been all along.

 

A Gentle Reminder

You are not broken. You are not behind. You are not too much or too little. You are exactly where you need to be on your journey of becoming yourself. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is simply be who you are.