By Dr. Colleen Cira
For generations, women and feminine-presenting people have been taught to fear their anger. We’ve been conditioned to believe that rage is dangerous, unfeminine, and something to suppress. We’ve been called irrational, dramatic, hysterical—our emotions weaponized against us to keep us small, silent, and compliant.
But here’s the truth: Anger is not the enemy.
In fact, our rage is a portal—to self-love, to truth, and to collective liberation.
The Stories We’ve Been Told About Our Rage
From a young age, many of us internalized harmful messages about anger:
- “Good girls don’t get angry.”
- “No one likes a woman who’s too emotional.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “Calm down, you’re being dramatic.”
These narratives don’t just dismiss our emotions; they make us question our own reality. We learn to second-guess ourselves, to stuff our rage down until it transforms into something more “acceptable” like sadness, guilt, or self-blame.
But what if we saw our anger not as something to fear—but as something sacred?
The Truth: Feminine Rage is Rooted in Love
What if our rage wasn’t just about destruction—but about love?
Think about it:
🔹 We rage because we love ourselves enough to say this is not okay.
🔹 We rage because we love our children and want a better world for them.
🔹 We rage because we love justice, fairness, and truth.
🔹 We rage because we deserve more—and so does everyone else.
Feminine rage isn’t about chaos or recklessness. It is an act of devotion. It is what happens when the love we have for ourselves and our communities refuses to be silenced.
The Cost of Silencing Our Rage
When we don’t allow ourselves to feel and process our anger, it doesn’t disappear—it turns inward.
🔹 It becomes resentment, simmering beneath the surface.
🔹 It turns into exhaustion, burnout, and chronic stress.
🔹 It manifests in our bodies as tension, migraines, digestive issues, or autoimmune symptoms.
🔹 It festers as self-doubt, keeping us small and afraid to set boundaries.
Repressed rage doesn’t make us “better” or more lovable. It makes us sick.
But when we honor our anger—when we let it breathe—we reclaim ourselves.
Rage as a Portal to Liberation
Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions, but at its core, it is wisdom. It tells us when a boundary has been crossed, when an injustice has occurred, when something deep within us is demanding to be acknowledged.
When we listen to our rage, we step into our power. When we express it with intention, we become catalysts for change—not just for ourselves, but for the collective.
Rage has fueled revolutions, movements, and liberation throughout history. It is the fire that burns away what no longer serves us, that clears the way for something new.
So what if, instead of suppressing it, we used it?
How to Express Anger in a Way That Heals
The goal isn’t to suppress or explode—it’s to move through anger in a way that liberates rather than consumes. Here are some ways to safely express rage:
🔥 Scream. Into a pillow, in your car, into the wind. Let it rip.
🔥 Move. Shake, stomp, run, dance—let your body process it.
🔥 Write an uncensored rage letter. Say everything. Don’t filter. Then burn it.
🔥 Hit something. A pillow, a punching bag. Let the energy move through you.
🔥 Use your voice. Say NO. Speak your truth. Let yourself be heard.
🔥 Breathe it out. Deep, intentional breaths. Inhale clarity, exhale the weight.
Your rage is not wrong. It is sacred. It is a force for change, a demand for justice, a deep and primal knowing.
It is the fire that clears space for something new.
It is the heartbeat of self-love, truth, and liberation.
So, let’s rewrite the narrative. Let’s stop apologizing for our anger and start listening to it.
💬 How has your anger been dismissed or weaponized against you? Share in the comments—let’s reclaim our rage together.
