Cira Center for Behavioral Health

All You Need Is Love

by | Feb 12, 2015 | Blog

Well hello!  My name is Dr. Colleen Cira and I am a Licensed Clinical Psychologist.  I’m also the mother of a beautiful 2.5 year old little boy, a soon-to-be little girl, happily married to my husband and living in Chicago.  I blogged awhile back as part of a way to marry my love of psychology and market my business as a…cough, Mary Kay consultant (don’t ask).  The Mary Kay gig didn’t last long, but my love of blogging persisted.  Life got busy, but I’m finally at a place where I’d like to start writing again…so here I am.
So what can you expect to read about?  Well lots of stuff!  We’re going to discuss romantic relationships, friendships, family, anxiety, sadness, women’s issues, self-care and all sorts of other interesting things.  My intention though is that the thread that weaves through all of these issues is love.  Love you say with a perplexed look.  Yes…love.  When people hear the word love, they typically associate it with romantic love, a cheesy Celine Dion song, “The Notebook”, yada, yada.  While we will cover some of that, the love that I’m talking about is a bit broader.  I’m talking about what it truly means to love ourselves and love others. 
I’ve been doing therapy for over 10 years now and almost everyone that I work with says the most horrific things to themselves…and I’m not excluded from this category at times!  We treat ourselves so much worse than we typically would ever dream of treating someone else.  We call ourselves awful names for making small, human mistakes.  We beat ourselves up for things that happen that are completely out of our control.  We second guess so many of the things we do, say and think.  And all of this self-criticism makes us sad or anxious or strains our relationships.  But so many of us think it’s necessary!  We convince ourselves that we need this sort of treatment to stay in line or be our best.  Through this blog, I would like to explore why we all do this to ourselves from time to time and invite us to think about other ways of being our most ideal selves.
As I mentioned, loving others is what is most typically thought of when the word “love” comes up…and for good reason!  Being deeply and authentically connected to another person is one of the most incredible experiences available to us as human beings.  But it’s not always easy, as we are all well aware of.  Romantic relationships are full of turmoil and strife and can end abruptly and disastrously.  Friendships can feel sparse or at times non-existent.  And the ones we can disappoint and fail us.  Our families can do their best and it still may not feel like what we need.  Yes, relationships are complicated and scary…but they can also be magical and life transforming.  We’ll do a lot of talking about how to decrease the drama and fear and increase the pleasure and joy of all sorts of relationships.

Bottom line: bad stuff happens to “good people” All. The. Time.  It’s unfortunate, but that’s the reality.  One that many of us are all too familiar with.  But what I believe and have seen 100 times over, is that with understanding, compassion and above all things – LOVE – we can not only survive the bad stuff, but THRIVE from it.  We can use the bad stuff to transform our souls and our lives and make it better and richer than we ever allowed ourselves to imagine.  How you say?  Well…that’s a bit more complicated and exactly what my blog will address.  I hope you’ll join me for the ride J