I’m writing to you at a difficult time in our world. It is a time when most of us are overwhelmed, and many of us aren’t safe. A time when the world is literally and metaphorically on fire. A time where hate, division, and fear seem to be winning. And in the wake of all of this horror, chaos, and tragedy, it’s easy to fall into rage or despair, both of which – if existed for too long – can lead us to paralysis. This is the stuff that learned helplessness is made of.
This is your invitation to pause for a moment, breathe into your body, and see what is there. If there is grief, make room for it. If there is rage, make room for it. If there is fear, make room for it. Feelings are meant to FEEL. There’s no need to tell stories about whatever it is that you are feeling… just feel it. Let it be known and seen and heard. Isn’t that what we’re all so desperate for? And then, remember this…
Our lives are happening right here, right now. This very moment is all we truly have. Anytime we dwell on the past or worry about the future, we are pulled away from our own lives. The challenge, then, is finding ways to stay present, especially in times when it feels almost impossible to do so.
To help myself, I’ve started using hourly reminders—timers that go off every hour, prompting me to take 1, 3, 5, or 10 minutes to breathe. It’s so simple yet incredibly powerful. These moments of pause keep me anchored in the present, and only in the present moment do I have actual choice.
When we are fully present, everything becomes more profound. That last really cool thing I did at work? Powerful. Taking care of myself? Worthy of celebration. Being there for my family? Beautiful. Presence allows us to witness the beauty and power within our own lives. It doesn’t erase the chaos and suffering in the world, but it shifts our focus. And what we focus on grows.
It’s easy to fall into rage, depression, or paralysis when we zoom out too far and take in the full weight of the world’s struggles. We can’t live in that space for too long. Instead, I keep bringing myself back to the present moment and to what I can personally control—caring for my family, nurturing the workplace I am at the helm of, and building our online mental health membership community, The Healing Haven. I truly believe this work will change the world. At the very least, it will support and uplift my communities. Focusing on what’s within my locus of control helps me resist the slide into paralysis and despair.
Finding Purpose
Alongside presence, I am finding purpose. Sometimes, I struggle with urgency—feeling like I must push forward at all costs because there is so much work to be done. But channeling my energy into my family, my community, and my work brings me deep fulfillment. I know I am here to make a difference. Every single day, I ask myself: What small step am I taking today toward that purpose?
Joy and Rest as Resistance
The systems around us are designed to keep us in survival mode. If we are barely breathing, we can’t resist, innovate, or thrive. So I am prioritizing rest—not as an afterthought, but as an act of defiance. I am also focusing on building my strength—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I am making joy a priority. Every month, I commit to doing something special with my husband, my family, and my friends. That way, I always have at least three things to look forward to—reminders that life isn’t just about enduring but about living.
Through presence, purpose, joy, and rest, I am creating a life that is both meaningful and resistant to the forces that seek to drain us. This is how I move forward. And if any part of this resonates with you, I invite you to do the same—one mindful breath, one small step, one act of joy at a time.
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Healing Haven is an online mental health membership community designed to revolutionize the traditional Western healthcare model. We offer accessible, trauma-informed, community-based expert information and on-demand content from mental health professionals. Engage in live Q&As, connect with providers through podcasts, and join a safe, supportive community where you can share your journey with like-minded individuals. All for only $10/month. Join here. Here’s to healing together.
